Association SOS Help line for Women and Children – Victims of Violence, Slovenia
Ljubljana, 18th November 2019
A word of Survivor
Fourteen years of surviving sexual abuse by my grandfather left many consequences. It is precisely for the sake of minimizing abuse, quickly detecting it and effectively protecting victims, that I publicly share my message, a survivors’ message:
»I wish we could get globally together and be aware of the power of child sexual abuse. The power that the perpetrator abuses against the victim and the power of the victim to survive and speak of them. It was extremely painful for me to repeat the testimony of what was happening to me. I felt abused and played out by those who ran the procedures. They did not realise that the act of sexual abuse is not equal to “car accident and recovery after it. ” Sexual abuse is an act that marks a human being from the inside out. They mark us and live inside for the rest of our lives.
Wounds left by sexual abuse are not healed. The story of sexual abuse goes with us to the grave. With the experience, you can – with tremendous effort, processing, engaging with yourself, with your feelings and experiences – learn to live. But we will never be as we were before we became survivors of sexual abuse.
It is unfortunate that only few stories of sexual abuse come as far away as mine has come. Too much is about proving and testimonial. Sexual abuse is the content that should be approached differently because there are not many witnesses in this type of action. Sexual abuse is not happening before the eyes of observers. Survivors are extremely injured, weak, full of disgust, misery, uncertainty, doubts, feelings of guilt, fear, which affects telling the story itself and the expression of a person who has been the survivor of any abuse.
A person with an experience of sexual abuse firstly needs healing , safe base, space and especially TIME. Time to give a place to yourself and heal to the extent that you can speak out at all.
It may sound brutal, but it’s so real: IF you’ve SURVIVED SEXUAL ABUSE, YOU HAVE POWER. I BELIEVE IN YOU THAT YOU HAVE SO MUCH STRENGTH THAT YOU CAN ALSO REPORT SEXUAL ABUSE.
I’m challenging you with that, but if you’re silent, it’s hard, the pain is strong. Just like mine and the pain of all those who don’t dare to speak…. However, YOU HAVE SURVIVED DISATHFUL ACTS, so you can tell the truth that will help YOU and certainly to HUMANITY. In this way, we demolate the taboos that are more than harmful. Taboos that increase wounds and create more victims.
There’s a lot more I could write about . This is the essence of the message that came out of the HEART. Hoping for strong change and support.«
Because it is often difficult to gather enough power to speak, apply, trust, you can call non governmental organisatisons working in the field of sexual abuse for support and assistance.